Toby

 

 
 

Awake without foreknowledge

 
 
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After a breakdown in my twenties, I found myself in and merged with what I can only describe as infinite inner space. I knew nothing about what had happened, and was utterly lost but joyously free all at once. This transition has taken many years to assimilate and get an understanding of, and a lot of this time was finding out what enlightenment isn’t.
 
 
 
I have been stuck in the present moment since this happened, and become more and more aware of what is happening in and around me everyday. For a few years I experienced enlightening bolts of energy rising from deep inside and searing through my body. They were enlivening, revealing, and burning up beliefs and attachments that had been buried through my life experience, and this was at times not enjoyable. The past impressions that colored my inner reality have been vaporized by this energy, my personality has lost its power to rule, and as my awareness was expanding in every direction, I was losing, losing, losing. This was not entirely by grace or an autonomous process, it was fueled by a furious compulsion to shed my skin… to rid myself of all that cramped inner space.
 
 
 
6 years on I know myself as an expanse of space and presence inside appearance, and simultaneously this life of a man in a beautiful world. I am happily married and share my time giving guidance to people all over the globe, enjoying life with my wife, and working simply as a mailman. Peace and contentment permeate all, and it is delightful.
 

 
 
 
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