In my twenties the connection to my past seemed to disintegrate



My sense of identity relaxed, and I started to experience a great inner freedom. Looking back, I knew something big was changing inside me and that my life path was no longer in the same realm as anyone I knew, but I didn’t know that this was the beginning of something named enlightenment. It took years to understand what this was, and more often the case – what it wasn’t.
I became more and more aware of what was happening in and around me, more and more bound to the present, and I experienced for a few years lightening bolts of energy coming from deep inside and searing through my body – enlivening my system almost daily. They seemed to be revealing and burning up the beliefs (false knowledge) and attachments that had been hidden unconsciously inside, and everything from the past that colored my inner reality seemed to be vaporized. My awareness was expanding in every direction, and yet I was losing, losing, losing structure and form for 6 years, and it continues.
My life now: I experience myself as an inner expanse of space, and I am the life of a present and conscious man in this fascinating world. I live without any meaning or sublime understanding of reality, and while this is utterly vulnerable and often uncomfortably present, I am content and rooted in peace.

“Toby’s presence brings you back to who you truly are. His eyes confirm that there is only love, and space. Every encounter is a blessing.”
              - Julia