What can I really know?


The ‘self’ seems to have no fixed or permanent reality. My experience of self is an ever shifting sense of I, or me that floats between different locations: in body, in emotion, in thinking, in one of the parts of the personality, or in pure awareness.
Beyond being an aware human male, what I actually am, I have no idea, nor do I think anyone possibly can. What I do know is the ability to locate.
In deeply recognizing this, fixation from the idea of a time-lined permanent self falls away, and one can learn to locate in deep being, awareness, and the perpetual newness of the present moment. A great peace will likely enter your life experience, and with awareness can come wisdom – from looking at what is really happening here.

With fixation lifting, you may see that your personality is a tribe of many parts, each with your name. You can have friendly and beneficent parts, you can have dysfunctional and maleficent parts, and anything in between. Each part has it’s own attitude, behavior, desires, worldview, and feelings, and one part or another shows up to be in relationship with the world.
You can locate in a part with awareness, and take it lightly to enjoy and fulfill the practicalities of life, or a part can launch itself without awareness. When this happens it takes you for an unconscious ride as it plays out its script. This seems to me the most common state of people, from the most spiritual to the most worldly.

With ‘realization’, my life became underwritten with peace and a loving acceptance that seems endlessly to open as I continue to discover old limiting conditioning in my personality. It is a heartfelt joy for me to share this peace, to guide others in their de-conditioning process, and to aid those interested in consciousness. This website is here to share some of the wisdom I have found, and to offer you my one on one guidance.


I give sessions online and by phone, see the sessions page for pricing.

Email me at selfrealize@icloud.com



“Toby provides a level of clarity. A simple redirection back to ‘what is’- that alive presence in all. It is always a pleasure and I am grateful.”
              - Jenny

 “My work with Toby has been transformational. I am finally understanding, experientially, the things I’ve read about for years in spiritual works. The experience of total presence is palpable with Toby, and as I notice myself being more present and peaceful in the midst of stressful situations, I smile inwardly to myself, and to Toby in gratitude.”
              - Andrew
 “I treasure my time with Toby. The focus is consciousness, and the simplicity and lack of artifice that he brings to each session are of pure presence. His insights are clear and potent. He doesn’t pull punches with what he sees as false, yet the effect is a more warm embrace of what’s true. His support and guidance have been invaluable to me.”
              - Valerie

 “Toby is a Master. He helps us remember that everything is perfect in and of itself. That beauty lies, not only in white, but in the play of black and white. Thank you Toby.”
              - Tomas